I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
