So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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