the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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