there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
