sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
