i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
