I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
