Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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