I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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