I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
