you guys were way drunker than both of me
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize