My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
