Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
