The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
