OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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