Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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