you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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