We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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