I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize