I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Welp...herpes.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
