i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
