do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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