I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
