doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
