I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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