we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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