i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
