Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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