He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Help. Why am I so naked?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
