I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
