the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
