I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
