He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
