I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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