Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
