There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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