I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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