The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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