I should be sponsored by Trojan
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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