just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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