You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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