JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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