Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
