it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
