She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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