I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
