Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
