all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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