what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
