i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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