I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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