Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Panties = found
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
