If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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