just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
