in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
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