she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
