I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
