if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
high people should be assigned attendants
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
