areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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