Me. At least after what I've been through.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
