i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
