he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
