don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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