tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
