How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
