All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
