were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
