i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
