That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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